Welcome to the most irregular episode of the How do you know? podcast to date!
Change has been brewing beneath the surface and it’s the unmatched Louis Grenier and his workshop – Stand The F*ck Out (STFO) – that played a huge role in materializing that transformation.
What you see today on my website is the result of several months of work that runs deep. During STFO, I refined my business strategy, the assets I bring to the table, and defined the type of customers I want to work with. The workshop accelerated these realizations and my acting on them by months – nay, years!
Every prompt and conversation chipped away at my self-doubt and gave me the clarity and confidence to articulate what I want to do next and what I don’t want to do next.
Because I’ve grown as a person through other people’s stories and kindness, I’m sharing the decisions that got me here so they may serve you on your journey.
I flipped the script on this episode to give you a sincere perspective of what it took to define and embrace my position in the market and the fears I’m still battling.
I knew it wouldn’t be as good without a conversation partner who wouldn’t let me off the hook. So I’m thankful that Louis helped me trace my steps to when I started freelancing and talk about the baggage I brought with me. We also stopped along the way to unpack the inflection points where I adjusted my course and what that felt like.
Today, I reached a place where I feel like myself more than I’ve ever felt. Even if this self-coherence didn’t come cheap, all the effort was worth it! I’m not nearly done, perfect, or complete but I have a stronger strategy for the endless chess game between myself and me.
That’s why the main topic of this conversation is self-limiting beliefs and how they shape your life, work, and self-perception.
“People don’t realize that their beliefs are responsible for a lot of stuff, for a lot of inaction. They take those beliefs for granted, for gospel, when, in fact, they’re not.”
Listen to this episode to learn:
- Why I decided to go on my own and build a freelancing business [2:15]
- How you may be doing your people a disservice by letting your self-limiting beliefs hold you back from showing up for them [8:17]
- How my belief system held me back and delayed my crossover into freelancing by months [10:21]
- How to use the self-coaching model to change the beliefs at the top so you can shift your feelings, behavior, and the results they produce [11:36]
- How I use Twitter to expand my perspective, make friends, and feed my brain with good ideas [14:00]
- Why Louis built STFO for people who didn’t believe in themselves as much as they should in saturated markets where you can find a lot of direct competitors [20:24]
- What stopped me from giving up on my non-cybersecurity clients and how I eventually learn to say no [21:49]
- How I cope with the imposter syndrome that comes with working in the cybersecurity industry in a non-technical role [26:00]
- What I took from Louis’ Stand The F*ck Out workshop [32:00]
- Louis’ challenge for the next stage of my professional evolution and a question you may want to ask yourself [42:44]
- What surprised me the most about Stand The F*ck Out and why it set a new standard from what I expect of high-intensity workshops [46:30]
A few ideas that stuck with me:
- To level up in any way, we need to acknowledge and work to self-limiting beliefs
- Deconstructing our beliefs is difficult because we can rarely do it alone. We’re not trained for it and too biased and self-involved to see them clearly.
- Most people tend to focus on tasks that are not that important to avoid the tasks that matter the most and you need help to break that cycle.
“You can spend months, even years, pretending to be an entrepreneur.”
- Shifting or narrowing your focus may make you feel like you’re letting people down. If you don’t do it, you’ll let yourself down and maybe do those people a disservice as well.
- Findings an experience, a guide, a group of people that helps you cross the chasm between knowing what you have to do and actually doing it is life-changing!
- Working with peers (for me it was other freelancers) can show you where you do well and where you need to improve in a way that boosts self-confidence and determines you to act.
- Learn to say no and seeing that nothing bad happens when you do is incredibly freeing!
Transformation doesn’t have to take a long time. You just need the right people to guide you, push you, and support you.
- Becoming rooted in yourself and what you stand doesn’t require an epiphany but rather a process you can learn, practice, and improve as you go along. Finding the people who will teach you that process and keep you accountable for following it is truly precious
About Louis Grenier:
Louis fights marketing bullshit with radical differentiation full time.
His contrarian approach and his remarkable knack for exposing and challenging bullshit – with empathy and generosity – make him one of my favorite people in the industry and beyond.
I was lucky to have Louis on the podcast in 2018 and learn from him even before that, as he’s one of the most strategic, smart, and kindhearted people I know. Watching him do the work, grow, and empower others has had a transformative effect on my work and belief system.
Wherever you choose to follow him, I guarantee you’ll get something that helps you move the needle and inch closer to where you want to go (or figure what that is if it’s still a bit foggy).
Connect with Louis:
- Everyone Hates Marketers website
- Everyone Hates Marketers podcast
- Stand The F*ck Out workshop
People & resources mentioned in the episode:
- Marijana Kay
- Elise Dopson
- Master Certified Coach Brooke Castillo
- The self-coaching model guide
- Radical Candor by Kim Malone Scott